When Relationships Hurt: How Toxic Connections Affect Mental Health and Substance Use
The Hidden Impact of Toxic Relationships
Relationships shape how we see ourselves, our self-esteem, identity, and emotional safety—especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Friends, partners, and even family members play a powerful role in identity development and emotional wellbeing. However, toxic relationships can have profound and long-last effects, quietly eroding mental health and fueling substance use.
Toxic relationships don’t always look dramatic or abusive on the surface. Many are subtle and confusing, but deeply emotionally draining. Over time, these unhealthy relationships can contribute to anxiety, depression, trauma responses, and substance use—particularly for teens and young adults who are still learning how healthy relationships are supposed to feel.
This blog explores toxic relationship signs, how relationships affect mental health, the connection between toxic dynamics and substance use, and how integrated treatment at Insight Northwest Recovery can help individuals and families in Oregon break harmful cycles and heal.
What Is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is defined as consistent patterns of manipulation, disrespect, control, or emotional harm. These patterns can show up in friendships, dating relationships, family dynamics, or peer groups. Toxic doesn’t always mean violent or obvious, and often, many unhealthy relationships teens experience can be subtle and difficult to name.
Common toxic dynamics include:
Codependency: where one person feels responsible for another’s emotions or behaviors
Gaslighting: causing someone to doubt their own reality or feelings
Jealousy or isolation: such as pressuring someone to cut off other relationships
Emotional or verbal abuse: including insults, threats, or constant criticism
Toxic relationships often alternate between closeness and hurt, making it hard to leave. Teens and young adults may normalize harmful behavior, especially if it’s framed as love, loyalty, or friendship. However, understanding these toxic relationship signs is a critical step toward protecting mental health.
How Toxic Relationships Affect Mental Health
There is a strong correlation between toxic relationships and mental health. When someone feels unsafe, controlled, or emotionally invalidated, their nervous system stays in a constant state of stress, impacting self-esteem, identity, and emotional safety.
When it comes to emotional impact, toxic relationships can often fuel anxiety, depression, and low self-worth, as well as chronic stress, panic attacks, or emotional numbness.
Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable as they form identity and attachment styles. During adolescence and young adulthood, unhealthy relationships teens experience can negatively shape long-term beliefs about self-worth, love, and safety.
Toxic relationships can also create or re-activate trauma responses. In this way, emotional abuse and addiction can often overlap, as individuals seek ways to cope with overwhelming feelings. Internalized messages like “I’m not enough” or “I deserve this” can linger long after the relationship ends, affecting long-term confidence, trust, and future connections.
The Connection Between Toxic Relationships and Substance Use
There is a strong connection between toxic relationships and substance use, particularly among teens and young adults in Oregon.
In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “1 in 5 teens in unhealthy relationships report using substances to cope” (2022). Additionally, the National Institute on Drug Abuse said that teens in toxic environments are significantly more likely to engage in risky substance use behaviors.
Why is this the case?
Many young people turn to substances as a coping mechanism to:
Numb emotional pain
Escape constant stress or fear
Fit in with toxic peer groups
Cope with dating violence or emotional abuse
Toxic friendship and anxiety often go hand in hand, especially when substance use is normalized within a social circle. Peer pressure can make alcohol, marijuana, or other substances a requirement for belonging, encouraging dangerous consumption.
Dating violence can also increase the risk of substance use as well. Teens experiencing emotional or physical abuse may use substances like alcohol and marijuana to cope with trauma, shame, or fear.
This connection highlights why addressing toxic relationships is essential in teen substance use treatment Oregon programs.
Recognizing the Signs: Is a Relationship Harming Your Mental Health?
If you’re wondering whether a relationship is hurting your mental health (or you’re a parent concerned about your teen) these signs can help bring clarity.
Emotional Red Flags
Constant guilt or fear of upsetting the other person
Walking on eggshells
Feeling drained, anxious, or unsafe
Losing interest in activities, hobbies, and passions
Behavioral Changes
Isolation from friends or family
Declining school or work performance
Increased secrecy, defensiveness, or withdrawal
Physical Symptoms
Sleep disturbances and problems
Stomach issues, headaches, or panic attacks
Chronic tension or fatigue
These signs suggest that toxic relationship dynamics are leading to mental health decline, signaling it might be time to ask for help.
Quick Self-Check: Am I in a toxic relationship?
Do I feel worse about myself after spending time with this person?
Am I afraid to be honest about my feelings?
Do I stay because I’m scared, guilty, or responsible for them?
If the answer is yes, it may be time to seek support.
How Integrated Treatment at INR Supports Healing
Healing from toxic relationships often requires more than willpower or distance. It requires support, skill-building, and safe relationships to practice new patterns. Insight Northwest Recovery (INR) offers integrated mental health and substance use treatment for ages 12+ across Oregon.
At INR, trained therapists help to provide:
Mental health treatment to address anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional regulation
Substance use support when toxic relationships lead to unhealthy coping strategies
Group therapy, where clients practice communication skills and boundary setting, through peer connection and validation
Family therapy to rebuild healthy support systems and reduce conflict
INR provides care through our mental health programs at our Eugene and Salem facilities, and virtual therapy across Oregon, making support accessible statewide. Programs are designed to treat the whole person, not just symptoms.
Empowering You to Set Boundaries
Recovery includes learning how to recognize red flags, set boundaries, and choose healthier relationships. Therapy helps teens, young adults, and adults rebuild self-trust and understand what safe connection feels like.
Key skills include:
Learning to say no without guilt
Recognizing red flags
Identifying safe vs. unsafe dynamics
Communicating needs clearly
Letting go of relationships that cause harm
Building healthy relationships
INR also offers affirming support for LGBTQ+ youth navigating identity, peer pressure, and relationship stressors. Healing means creating a new path—one grounded in respect, safety, and self-worth.
Healing Starts With Recognizing What Hurts
You don’t have to stay in a relationship that harms your mental health. Toxic dynamics can be unlearned, and recovery is possible with the right support.
If a relationship is hurting your mental health or leading to substance use, Insight Northwest Recovery is here to help. We offer therapy and recovery programs for teens, young adults, and adults across Oregon, both in-person and online.
Contact us today to learn more about teen mental health treatment services in Oregon and Oregon substance use recovery for ages 12+. Healing starts with support—and you don’t have to do it alone.